Rooms can be challenging for some transgender and nonbinary people, as evidenced by the death of Oklahoma’s Nex Benedict, 16, who was 16 years old.
When it comes to providing safe and equal bathrooms for transgender persons, Oklahoma is not an exception. According to the Movement Advancement Project, which tracks LGBTQ+ plans, 13 states have policies that prevent transgender individuals from properly or legally using common restrooms.
However, statistics show that transgender and nonbinary individuals report high levels of abuse in public restrooms even in states with transgender-friendly policies. Advocates claim that regular people can make a significant impact by preventing discrimination in gendered restrooms. The 19th demonstrates how people can assist in preventing misuse.
Recognize that bathrooms can be intimidating and help locate safe options.
Tat Bellamy-Walker, a Seattle-based journalist and Black gender-fluid trans individual, has previously found segregated restrooms to be a hostile environment. They had to go far beyond their comfort zone to locate all-gender single-stall restrooms they could use carefully in grad school and at media internships.
“You never forget being told you don’t belong in a room; you always remember not having a place to dispose of hygiene products if you’re on your period in the public restroom,” Bellamy-Walker said. “It’s really clear you do not belong in public spaces.”
Supporters can find and direct friends or family who might need gender-neutral restrooms in a significant way. This is particularly crucial when organizing events or gatherings. Ensure your venue has inclusive restrooms.
Offer to be a restroom companion for your transgender and nonbinary friends.
Carrie Soto, a South Dakota parent of a trans child, said she lives by the phrase “see something, say something.”
That entails speaking out when there is harassment and bullying, and volunteering to accompany a trans/nonbinary friend or family member when they need to use a public restroom.
“Assess a trans person’s fears and anxiety about the situation,” Soto said. “If [my daughter] uses a gendered restroom and feels anxious, I go with.”
If you see transgender and nonbinary individuals in restrooms, welcome them and make them feel welcome.
Although it may seem obvious, transgender health advocate Jamison Green points out that this can make trans people feel secure. Bear in mind that according to the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey, 59 percent of transgender people avoided using a public restroom due to fear of abuse. Data from 2022 shows that 4 percent of trans people reported being physically or verbally attacked while using a restroom, and 4 percent were denied restroom access.
“If you see somebody who you clock as trans or genderfluid, simply smile or give them a non-controversial compliment… Wish them a good day or a good night, and move on,” Green said. “Of course, that only goes for the women’s restroom! In the men’s restroom, chatting is pretty rare.”
Green advises that transgender people reciprocate with a kind, unapologetic nod.
Advocate for more gender-neutral options
Twenty-two states and Washington, D.C., allow residents to select “X” gender markers on their IDs in addition to selecting “M” or “F.” However, in every state, regardless of laws, most restrooms in state buildings, institutions, businesses, places of worship, and social venues are gendered.
Advocates suggest that people can simply ask organizations and building owners for more options to support all genders in order to change this.
In its restroom guide, Lambda Legal states that “advocacy is the most crucial part of the fight for transgender rights.” Employers adopting proactive pro-trans policies rather than waiting for transgender individuals to pave the way significantly reduce the likelihood of problems arising in the future.
Try to leave gender-neutral single-stall restrooms vacant unless you really need them.
The only single-stall gender-neutral restrooms available are often occupied, as online searches are typically full of rants that are not suitable for a news article about restroom usage. Therefore, gender-neutral restrooms, particularly in public spaces, are almost always occupied.
There are many reasons why a cisgender person might need a single-occupancy restroom (accessibility, illness, child care, and, yes, even a little more privacy). It’s a kindness to leave gender-neutral restrooms unoccupied when you don’t need them, just like accessible stalls.
