Personal Stories
The queer community is deprived of seeing themselves on public platforms because there are n’t many queer and trans characters in the mainstream media. As a transgender author and artist, I feel compelled to produce more compelling stories about people like me. Something I did n’t have the chance to experience growing up, so I wanted to write and create characters that young queer children can look up to.
From a very young age, I have enjoyed telling and creating reports aesthetically. The figures I conjured up were often inspired by the persons around me—my friends, my relatives, teachers, and just about anyone I met. I made sure, however, to give them different names, keeping in line with the idea I had of storytelling ( all characters must be fictional ).
My parents began watching a lot of American movies, including Gone with the Wind, The Sound of Music, and other classics, around the age of seven, and I can recall. I did n’t speak or understand English at the time, but I would still insist on watching the movies with them.
In later years, I would use the labels from these movies to create my personal narratives. Personalities like Rhett, John, and Paul would be my colleagues and together we would go on some activities. Maybe I’ll go by my own name in order to blend in with the others. In retrospect, I wonder why I was therefore fascinated and special by the use of these brands, especially those that were given to female characters and thus my female friends.
My friend just questioned,” Why is the main figure in all your drawings or stories a boy?” as I was sort of going through a pile of art that I had made as a child. That had never crossed my mind! The notion that I was constantly drawing or conjuring up a type of myself in some way or another. Coming out then as a transgender man, everything suddenly fits together.
I never had the thoughts to support my brain, despite the fact that I was constantly aware of how uncomfortable and disoriented I was as a child. I was exposed to a lot of the cis-het personalities and heterosexual relationships in the movies and reports. I found myself identifying with all the trans- guys I saw on camera, and my desire to be one grew endlessly, but all I could do was picture.
Words like anxiety, transgender and female- accepting treatment did not exist when one is brought up in a trans- sexist, heteronormative home. Growing up, I came to the conclusion that there was no way for me to truly be who I was.
So I occasionally feel like I needed to act as my own personality or position type. Additionally, it is amazing that I still look very much like the people I used to draw when I was younger. It almost seems like I was bringing myself to living!
2 years ago, as a part of my last year thesis at university, I got the opportunity to create a total- length graphic book. The main character is eerily similar to me in both personality and behavior in this account, and I created another one. This was when I had spoken up to most of my buddies, but I was still using my dying name, which had always felt mysterious.
A transgender man was my personality. Naming him was not hard. I did a random Google seek and ended up picking one up, allowing myself to modify it at any time. However, the title stayed with me forever, and as a result, I began to see myself as the person I had made: someone who was a lot like me and lived a life that was more in tune with mys than I had anticipated. I was unable to complete the comic book, so I ended up simply submitting pre-production research and figure illustrations. Despite its perseverance, the task developed into the name I had been longing for and a name I had finally find pleasure in.
The queer community is deprived of seeing themselves on public platforms because there are n’t many queer and trans characters in the mainstream media. As a transgender author and artist, I feel compelled to produce more compelling stories about people like me. Something I did n’t have the chance to experience growing up, so I wanted to write and create characters that young queer children can look up to.
What if I had the terms and the tools to identify my identity at a younger age and the flexibility to begin my shift much earlier makes me wonder? And to know myself little earlier?
In our reading, watching, or listening to music, we are constantly looking for ourselves. There is always a want to relate because something that is produced by another is validate our emotions because it shows that we are not the only ones who feel this way. The fundamental purpose of believability is to eliminate the notion of “otherness,” which those in my neighborhood are, more often than not, incredibly well-versed in.
I always liked my dead brand. My parents frequently thanked themselves for the time and effort put into creating the ideal label for me. Something that would draw people’s attention ( it did n’t work, people forgot it the moment they heard it ) and a name that would rhyme with my sister’s name.
Since my sister and I are Bengalis, it was only required that we have a daak name, a name that the family just uses. My useless name is not a gender-neutral, but my daak names, in my opinion, is more appropriate for me. Pretty soon, I was only called by my canine brand, and the signs of my deceased name were only able to be found in my legal documents and records, despite my parents ‘ attempts to persuade me not to tell anyone about it.
I have not felt any affinity for that brand. It was given to me, but it never came to me. My parents tried to convince me to include a portion of my deceased name in my newly chosen name when I first started to change, but it came off as overly foreign. And in some manner that is a pleasure.
I do enjoy my dog name and first, I did know if I could just go by that. However, when I created the figure for my essay, it both sounded comfortable and clean at the same time.
Title oneself, it truly is a beautiful and empowering experience.
