For decades, the plotline for LGBTQ+ activism in the U.S. was one of advances — often slow-paced and hard-fought but inexorably moving forward.
Now, faced with unprecedented attacks in state legislatures, transgender rights leaders acknowledge they are playing defense — and two of the biggest groups are joining forces to counter the onslaught.
“This is going to be a defense game — and a movement-strengthening game,” said Andy Marra, executive director of the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund. “We have witnessed a sophisticated, well-coordinated and highly resourced effort to dismantle the years of progress that our movement has made.”
Scores of bills enacted in Republican-governed states over the past few years targeted transgender people. Many of laws ban gender-affirming medical care for trans minors or bar trans athletes from competing on girls’ and women’s scholastic sports teams.
With a new wave of anti-trans measures already introduced this year, the TLDEF and the National Center for Transgender Equality announced in January that they plan to merge this summer. The new organization will be called Advocates for Trans Equality; Marra will be its CEO, while its executive director will be Rodrigo Heng-Lehtinen, who now holds that title with the NCTE.
Marra said a key moment in deciding to consider the merger came in 2022. Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton and Gov. Greg Abbott, both Republicans, directed state child protection workers to investigate families of trans children for what Abbott termed “abusive gender-transitioning services.”
“I knew we needed a stronger, bolder response to the unprecedented vitriol and legislative attacks on trans people nationwide,” Marra said.
Unlike some mergers, this one is not aimed at cost-cutting or consolidation, according to Heng-Lehtinen. He said current staff from each organization will be retained, and the new organization — after adding a few new hires — likely will have a staff of about 50 by the end of the year, working out of offices in New York and Washington as well as remotely.
“When you hear ‘merger,’ you think there’s some kind of crisis or duplication,” he said. “Not in this case — we simply think we’ll be stronger.”
For Marra and Heng-Lehtinen — and their allies in other LGBTQ+ rights organizations — it’s crucial to keep litigating, state by state, against the anti-trans laws. While some of the measures have taken effect, others were blocked by federal judges, including some appointed by Republican presidents.
Another priority is to engage in political campaigns.
“We need pro-trans elected officials winning their races and defeating candidates who are attacking trans people only to score political points,” Heng-Lehtinen said. He depicted the anti-trans vitriol as backlash to the broader gains made by the LGBTQ+ rights movement in recent decades.
“Anti-LGBT groups are shaking in their boots,” he said. “We’ve made a lot of progress, and that’s why they’re fighting so hard.”
He’s been immersed in politics since childhood — his mother, Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, served 30 years in Congress, starting when he was 3 years old.
At odds with most of her fellow Republicans in Congress, Ros-Lehtinen became a staunch supporter of LGBTQ+ rights — for example, becoming the first GOP House member to support the legalization of same-sex marriage. She was vocally in support of Rodrigo’s decision to come out as a transgender man.
“What makes our family so very proud of Rodrigo is that he’s so happy living an authentic life, being honest about who he is and bringing a lot of joy in our lives,” Ros-Lehtinen said in a 2016 video urging parents to accept their trans children.
Back in 2016, after North Carolina enacted a “bathroom bill’ restricting trans people’s use of public restrooms, there was a major backlash, including cancellation of potentially lucrative business projects and sporting events.
Over the past couple of years, the corporate world generally avoided similar threats as new anti-trans measures took effect in North Carolina and elsewhere. Sales of Bud Light plunged because of conservative backlash to an ad campaign featuring transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney.
Marra suggested that many corporations had become more wary of venturing into potentially divisive political issues, at a time when special-interest groups are scrutinizing how they deal with issues such as affirmative action and workforce diversity.
“We would like them to stay true to their values,” Marra said.
The cumulative impact of the anti-trans laws has been tangible, according to surveys finding that many trans people considered moving to another city or state that would be more accepting. Several new organizations emerged in the past few years offering emergency funding to individuals and families affected by anti-trans legislation, either to relocate or to obtain medical care or services outside their home state.
Marra, who has been active in the LGBTQ+ rights movement for 20 years, says she remains optimistic.
“We are in many ways in the fight of our lives right now,” she said, “but ultimately we are on the right side of history.”
Here’s how to support transgender youth, according to trans teens
Here’s how to support transgender youth, according to trans teens
As the kids exit the house and venture out into the world, you feel a familiar sense of dread come to rest on your heart—the feeling you get each time they leave your sight, a feeling that only goes away once they come back home. According to a survey of 2,000 parents conducted by OnePoll in 2018, respondents spent an average of 37 hours a week worrying about their child or children—and 59% lost sleep as a result.
Concerns about kids’ mental health and bullying topped the list of primary parental worries in 2023, according to the Pew Research Center. But one population is particularly vulnerable to these challenges: transgender youth. By talking to trans teens and using resources from The Trevor Project, a nonprofit focused on LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention and mental health, Stacker took a look at how parents and adults can best support trans children in their lives.
Supporting trans youth can be a matter of life and death
A 2023 study conducted by The Trevor Project surveyed the experience of 28,000 people who identify as LGBTQ between the ages of 13 and 24. The results expose the bleak reality of transgender and gender-nonconforming young people’s mental health: Between 48% and 56% of trans and nonbinary youth considered suicide in the past year, rates that far surpass their cisgender counterparts.
The issues transgender youth face are myriad: high rates of online and in-person bullying; a spate of anti-trans bills making their way through state and local legislatures; inflammatory anti-trans rhetoric pushed by right-wing media; increased risk of physical and sexual violence from friends, family, and strangers; and a lack of access to mental and medical health care, coupled with high levels of anxiety and depression. The kind of obstacles that trans youth face appear overwhelming at minimum and insurmountable at the most extreme.
Embedded within The Trevor Project’s study, however, is a shining silver lining. When those surveyed came from a home with love, support, and affirmation of their identities, they reported lower rates of attempting suicide. Unfortunately, creating a perfect support system seems easier said than done—the survey indicated that only 35% of respondents reported coming from a supportive home.
What a lack of support for transgender youth looks like, according to trans youth
Seventeen-year-old Felix Alaniz describes his experience as a transgender young person as feeling like “being put under a spotlight you can’t turn off”—a spotlight that can be “deadly” due to the rampant transphobia around him.
For the last two years, Alaniz has acted as the Project Leader for Cap the Gaps, a nonprofit organization in Auburn, California, which focuses on addressing the lack of care and resources provided for young people, especially LGBTQ youth, within the mental health care system. While he may seem relatively young for such a role, his lived experience has certainly earned him his position.
At the age of 10, after surviving a fairly public suicide attempt, Alaniz was forced to come out to his school and family. Seven years after what Alaniz called “one of the most traumatic events of my life” in an interview with Stacker, he now dedicates his time to educating anyone who will listen on how to support trans youth, especially when it comes to how parents can support their children.
When Alaniz’s friend K, a name he asked to use for privacy reasons, came out to his family at the age of 15, he received a mixed response from his parents: While his mother was supportive, his stepfather had the opposite reaction.
“He’s never been able to accept it or wrap his brain around it, and no matter what we’ve tried, it doesn’t work. Talking, therapy, yelling, and screaming,” K told Stacker in an interview. “If it weren’t for my mom and being able to rely on her, I’m sure things would be a lot harder. But to be honest, it’s hard as f— having one love you and one hate you.”
K, who turned 18 earlier this year, continues to struggle to understand his stepfather’s response. “It’s so unfair to bring a child into this world, or take responsibility for a kid, and then abandon them just because you don’t understand them anymore,” he said.
Alaniz had a similar experience: While his mother was supportive from the get-go, his grandparents were not, which he said deeply affected his mental health day-to-day.
What supporting trans youth looks like, according to trans youth
Though Alaniz’s mom has consistently been in his corner, that doesn’t mean she hasn’t had plenty to learn along the way. “I used to get called ‘she’ all the time after I first came out, because I had a long emo side cut,” Alaniz said. “My mom used to think it was just as simple as cutting my hair. She didn’t realize that it doesn’t matter whether I’m completely bald or have hair like Rapunzel, because there are people who will not let trans people move in peace. It’s just never that simple.”
“Parents have a slight struggle I see with being understanding of the smaller things,” he added.
The Trevor Project’s recent survey backs up the notion that it’s the little things that count. From taking the time to educate yourself about gender identity and transgender people, to making sure you use your child’s chosen name and pronouns in the home, small steps and consistency seem to be the key.
The Trevor Project’s 2022 research brief spotlights five frequently cited supportive actions that parents or caregivers of trans youth can take: being welcoming and kind to their friends or partner(s); talking with them respectfully about their gender identity; supporting their personal gender expression; using their name and pronouns correctly; and educating yourself about LGBTQ issues and people.
K is now living on his own, thanks to the assistance of his mother. “One thing I do know is that a lot of kids aren’t so lucky. Having one parent on your side can be the difference between life and death for some of us,” he said. “I’m really glad my mom took the time to like … try? To make it make sense to her. That meant so much.”
Alaniz said he understands where parents are coming from when they ask questions about their trans kids’ clothes or gender expression. “I know it can be hard, but you have to let your kid go through the phases. Let them experiment. Let them figure it out—even if it annoys you to have to switch gender pronouns or names every few months until it sticks,” he said.
In the end, the most important thing for parents to remember when it comes to supporting trans kids is to love them.
“I knew my mom was trying, even when she got things wrong, because she loved me and she didn’t give up,” Alaniz said. “The rest takes time, but if you love your kid more than you love your own prejudices or lack of education, then you will all figure it out together. Love your trans kid. Support your trans kid. Fight for your trans kid. That’s it.”
For more mental and medical resources as well as information on how to support trans youth, please check out The Trevor Project’s website. TTP also has a 24/7 crisis hotline that transgender youth and their families can call for support: 1-866-488-7386.
Editor’s note: If you or someone you know are experiencing a mental health crisis or thoughts of suicide, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 9-8-8 for professional help.
Story editing by Eliza Siegel. Additional editing by Jaimie Etkin. Copy editing by Tim Bruns.
