What does the ideal allyship entail? There’s no one right answer—but when in doubt, move to the neighborhood you’re aiming to support.
One transgender man did that when he was unsure of how to show his support for trans people.
“I’m about to graduate from college, and I’ve been thinking about adding a button to my suit jacket,” he shared on Reddit. “One of my possibilities is a trans symbol pin. As a straight cisgender man, I worry that this might be ‘appropriating’ something that doesn’t belong to me. I’ve wondered if an ‘alliance’ button might be more correct?”
“I also don’t care if cis people see the flag and assume I’m trans,” he added. “The only things that matter in this situation are transgender people,” he said.
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If he was in the marketplace for transgender thoughts, he got them in spades. Most people agreed: wearing trans symbols like the symbol isn’t appropriative, but it will probably make other people question your identity.
“I don’t think it’s ‘appropriation,’ but people will probably assume you’re trans,” one commenter wrote. “However, whenever I see those hues, I become up and realize I’m in a good position.”
“You can wear a transgender flag all you want, companion, but you might be mistaken for a transgender man. If you’re good with that, wear it all you want,” agreed another.
The poster didn’t hesitate at all: “I’m absolutely fine with that—it’s a compliment, not an insult—particularly if it helps to deceive haters as to what a trans man is ‘meant’ to appear like,” he replied.
Others argued that their world will become safer as a result of more accepted cooperation with trans people.
“People can use a transgender flag,” one wrote. “There is no harm to transgender people, and the transgender stereotype could be improved if it were to become public.”
“I think it’s outstanding to show unity with the transgender community,” shared another. “I believe it’s important for those with protections to struggle for us. I try to fight, but I’m never tired. When I need a break, I would like to know that I have real cis friends who can take a symbol for me.”
The flyer also expressed concern that trans people may feel offended when they learn that he is cis after believing they are trans, as the banner put it.
Those problems, though, were likewise immediately assuaged: “It’s not really appropriating. It’s simply probable complicated. However, greater trans presence is always beneficial. It allows others to be more apparent. It paves the road,” a writer replied. “The flag isn’t one of the things that would be really weird to see with a cis person, but there are probably some things that trans culture isn’t one of, unless you misrepresent yourself.”
Some people even suggested wearing an alliance flag, either in place of or in addition to the trans symbol, to prevent confusion and make the author’s information clear. There is no real reason not to use the pin, according to the warning that cis people may consider him trans and that he might face abuse if he’s willing to do so.