Nex Benedict will always be a 16-year-old.
We know several things with clarity while we wait to find out exactly what caused the Oklahoma teen’s death:
In Nex’s last years on earth, bullying that targeted the child’s gender identity was common.
Nex was taken to the hospital after the Owasso High School bathroom got into a duel.
By implementing policies and making claims that make life harder on a small percentage of kids known to be at higher risk of abuse and death, the state of Oklahoma and, in particular, the country’s director of schools, have dehumanized trans children.
Oklahoma failed Nex Benedict, so we don’t need an autopsy
There may not be a clear line between Nex’s demise and the abuse or the adulterated state officials whose deeds have created a framework that allows for such bullying. However, isn’t the fact that this 16-year-old endured bullying right up until the last day of their life enough evidence to discredit the circumstances that allowed any of it to occur?
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It’s not difficult to imagine a world in which Nex felt secure, despite a final autopsy report. Here’s a simple fact that won’t change.
In fact, that is much simpler to create than the world we currently live in, where people spend days, weeks, and ages creating norms and authorization institutions that encourage people to bully children who want nothing more than a chance to live as their true selves.
More than 350 organizations from Oklahoma and across the nation signed an open letter on Wednesday calling on the state government to “immediately remove Ryan Walters from his position as Oklahoma State Superintendent of Public Instruction and to launch an investigation into the Oklahoma Department of Education to establish what actions and policies have created a culture where widespread abuse” of gender nonconforming students has been allowed to go unchallenged.
“Woke female game” The language of the state official promotes harassment
Walters responded by backtracking on prejudiced, right-wing slurs, telling ABC News that he would not “play woke gender games, and I would never back down a woke mob.”
He continued, “We’ve seen extreme liberals trying to make this notion of gender fluidity, which simply confuses individuals and causes all kinds of conflict in the classroom and conflict with people.”
But, is it “radical” to want kids to feel secure and accepted? It seems more politically motivated to target children for political gain.
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Walters’ opinions are completely wrong and devoid of compassion. Every major medical association acknowledges the crucial role of gender-affirming care, according to the American Medical Association, and linked “increased harassment” to “substantially higher rates of depressive ideation” among trans youth.
LGBTQ+ citizens in Oklahoma have been the subject of unwavering opposition from the legislature
According to a 2022 survey from The Trevor Project, an LGBTQ+ crisis intervention organization, “55% of transgender and nonbinary youth in Oklahoma seriously considered suicide in the past year, including 55% of transgender and nonbinary youth.”
Legislators in Oklahoma have imposed limits on gender-affirming care and prohibited transgender students from using public restrooms that reflect their gender identity. A hideous political stunt and blaring affront to every LGBTQ+ individual in the state just brought in a rabidly anti-trans out-of-state cultural media figure to function on the state’s Library Media Advisory Committee.
None of this prejudice is simple. And there are ways for a child like Nex to improve the world in Oklahoma, or any state for that matter.
Supporters must educate themselves and contribute to that reality. You may do some of the following.
Value names and pronouns – it’s not difficult to do
Practice using various pronouns if a transgender or nonbinary person claims to have used them before. Use the appropriate pronouns in the person’s sentences. If you make a mistake, apologize without apology and keep it in mind the next time. The same thing applies to names. Correct a transgender person you know even though the transgender person may never be aware of it if someone else pronounces them wrong or dead.
Monitor anti-LGBT+ regulations and cast your vote correctly
Legislation that is misogynistic typically appears at the state level. State senators across the nation filed almost 470 anti-trans bills during the 2024 program, according to the ACLU. 21 of these bills have already been defeated, making not all of them into laws. They do increase the concern transgender and intersex people in the United States have. Look up who is filing legislation in your state and what laws are being filed with them. Vote in November with trans people in mind.
Become a member of organizations that support LGBTQ+ people and learn from them
Join the LGBTQ+ lobbying group in your state. Freedom Oklahoma has been at the forefront of sharing Nex’s story and promoting light vigils, but they also hold activities and provide solutions to the group. Every state has a similar volunteer, and they merit your time, attention, and money.
Regardless of their identity, a child is a child. Attempt to improve their quality of life
Understand that a trans or nonbinary person is so much more than just their identity if you know of them. They are also your child, a relative, a friend, or a colleague. The teen, according to Nex’s friends and family, was a talented designer who also enjoyed Minecraft and cooking. In this difficult time, check in on the trans people in your life.
In another country, there are children like Nex who are aware of who they are and who are attempting to live in a system that punishes their existence. You can’t pass any laws against them. Gender diversity has existed for thousands of years in various cultures, and it will continue to exist.
Transgender people deserve to grow older, and transgender children deserve to grow up. We are all in charge of making that a reality.
Visit thetrevorproject for information on resources and support for LGBTQ+ parents, allies, and children. nonprofit. Choose call, text, or chat the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or visit 988lifeline if you or someone you know needs mental health resources and assistance.
Follow Sara Pequeno on Facebook at social.com/PequenoWrites and on X, formerly Twitter @sara__pequeno. Follow Rex Huppke, a columnist for USA TODAY, on Facebook at social.com/RexIsAJerk and X, formerly Twitter @RexHuppke.
