One of our brother Ashton’s final conversations with us was about how horrified and grieved he was over the recent passing of a non-binary high school student in Oklahoma named Nex Benedict.
Nex had frequently been subjected to harassment because of their inability to conform to the female stereotypes of their peers. Following a fight in the school bathroom, they died the next day. They reported to the police that they had been “jumped” and “assaulted” by a number of classmates who were abusing them and some friends.
Because of Nex’s death, Ashton decided to write an opinion piece for LNP | LancasterOnline to bring attention to the fact that Oklahoma’s anti-discrimination rules consciously fail to protect people based on their gender identity and gender, and that state’s lawmakers are now trying to undermine transgender people’s well-being.
Ash understood that the incorporation of anti-transgender/anti-LGBT+ bigotry in our public policies and laws explicitly results in violent acts against trans people. Violence is fatal very frequently, whether it is caused by others or by oneself.
Ash wasn’t able to write that column for long enough. He passed away last week in his area. We write these intelligible words as his parents because we never have a chance to say what Ash was trying to say in his paragraph. Why can’t we start loving and supporting trans people instead of hating and criticizing them?
Oklahoma Republican state senator Tom Woods was questioned about his support for the more than 50 anti-trans bills currently being considered in that state in the midst of Nex’s abuse and even days before our son’s untimely death. He referred to the LGBTQ+ area as “filth” in his answer. This is how private hatred causes discriminatory public policies that are causing the deaths of transgender children.
When we, as Ashton’s parents, join our brother in calling for a more compassionate society for LGBTQ+ children, we aren’t pushing a “radical ideology” or a so-called “woke” agenda, as many politicians claim. Simply put, we claim that our child and every other transgender person in today’s America deserves the same level of respect, safety, and human rights as the rest of us do. That doesn’t strike us as radical.
More than 460 bills were introduced last year across the country with the intention of depriving trans people of their rights, dignity, and simple respect. Far too many religious groups have full support for this alarming trend. Ash had no idea why so many Christians were committed to promoting hatred, hostility, and assault against folks like him. Both Ash and his girlfriend Hannah were raised in a church with a strong love for the temple and the teachings of Jesus. We prayed the Lord’s Prayer and recited the Beatitudes before going to bed each night, saying, “Blessed are the poor, the merciful, the meek, the persecuted,” for they will be called the children of God.
In the teachings of Jesus that he learned as a child, Ashton’s personal commitment to fight for social justice was rooted in his own struggle for the poor, the unhoused, refugees, transgender children, Palestinians in Gaza, and indigenous communities. Jesus, who spent his entire life defending the most marginalized in his own community: outcasts, exiles, women, children, and refugees. Who answered the question, “Who will inherit heaven?” according to Jesus? by saying, “those who serve the least among us.”
Jesus was assassinated by the Romans because he posed a threat to a cruel empire. How did a church that was founded under Roman persecution on the teachings of a humble, poor, refugee Jew turn into a death cult endangering the very people Jesus had given his life for? Ash was both puzzled and heartbroken by this fact. As we grieve his passing, it presently breaks ours.
Many religious communities are aware that anti-trans and anti-LGBT+ hate is against their beliefs, but far too much of it comes from those who claim to love Jesus and carry the “pro-life” label. Let’s be clear: Pro-life also means respecting and defending trans people’s lives. Pro-family refers to supporting, loving, and protecting families like ours that are raising trans children in a hostile world. Anti-trans bigotry is anti-Christ, too. And violence that masquerades as piety is nothing virtuous about it.
We’ve heard a lot of well-intentioned people describe how miserable transgender children are as kids. How confused, troubled, and tormented. However, these people are completely incorrect. Blaming another transgender person’s suffering as the cause is considered unsafe vilification when another transgender person commits suicide. Because they are transgender, transgender children are not subject to torture. Because our community is making the world uninhabitable for them, they are tortured.
Everyone reading these words has a responsibility each of us to speak up and speak out against transgender rights. Get decisive. Have difficult conversations. Fight anti-trans comments, jokes, and insults right away and immediately. Even if it’s challenging, do it. Even if it’s nerve
-wracking, do it. Stand up to your misogynistic director or uncle’s cruel joke. Everywhere you see it, call out anti-transgender and anti-LGBT+ bias, even if it causes a stir. Our children are dying while we’re busy not making waves.
It is time for all of us to acknowledge the transgender culture of death that we have created. Without apologizing, mincing, or holding back, we must do this. It’s time to begin saving our children.
The Center for the Green Environment at Franklin & Marshall College is led by Malinda Harnish Clatterbuck as associate director. At Montclair State University, Mark Clatterbuck is an associate professor of religion.
GET HELP
Call the following organizations if you or someone you know is in turmoil and needs urgent assistance:
Call or text 988 or talk at 988lifeline to learn more about the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. nonprofit.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached by Protostar at 800-799-4889 for those who are deaf or hard of hearing.
— Lancaster Crisis Intervention, 717-394-2631.
If you are LGBTQ+, visit the TrevorProject.org/get-help.
